A Whirlwind Morning Inside a Quiet Heart

This morning was whirlwind

I was at home alone 

My mum was out running errands 

She came back with our lunch and some stuff

I ate and went out with her for my dental appointments 

She was harsh and fierce

I was very tired

The dentist made me uncomfortable 

Asking questions

Checking all my teeth

Pulling my mouth

I was feeling anxious 

Pulling away

Communication with mum was challenging

I bought my bread for tomorrow

I went away to the printing shop without telling my mum

People laughed and avoided me

I board the bus back home with my mum

More tension at home

I prepared for work tomorrow 

Feeling overwhelmed 

Trying to take things one step at a time

I choked during dinner

Mum criticised me everytime

About money

Born To Stay

I deleted the message.

Not out of anger,

but because my heart

deserves a softer room.

They sent a video

to call me dance monkey,

typed my name

like a punchline.

I said, Stop it,

and when “sorry” came,

I still chose peace

over replay.

This is not overreacting.

This is my quiet no.

My small, sacred shield.

At night,

Mum speaks before sleep,

a few brief words

held between dramas and sighs.

I answer anyway.

Somewhere under the sharpness

there is still a thread,

and I am the one

who keeps it from breaking.

Aidah does not follow back

on TikTok.

The screen stays silent,

and for a moment

it stings.

But my worth

is not a number,

not a notification,

not a blue tick

or a view count.

I am still me

when the world is quiet.

My teeth remember

what my mind cannot say.

Two broken edges,

and counting,

from all the nights

I swallowed pain

until my jaw

took the impact.

My body shouts

what my voice learned

to hide.

Still,

I did not disappear.

There were days

I could have left the story

by my own hand,

could have let the darkness

win its final argument.

But I stayed.

I stayed for the girl

who once believed

teachers loved her

because she tried.

I stayed for the woman

who walks into work

with tired eyes

and still gives her best

between teasing,

noise,

and misunderstandings.

I stayed for the storms

I now dance through,

laughing just enough

to keep the sky from closing.

Progress, not perfection.

Laughter, not surrender.

Boundaries, not bitterness.

Deleting a message.

Unliking a post.

Walking away from a joke

that cuts too deep.

These are not dramas.

These are doors

I choose to close

so my soul

can finally rest.

I am quiet,

but I am not small.

I do not fit the world

that rewards noise,

but I was never built

for their approval.

I was born to shine

in my own soft way,

to carry gold in my tenderness

even when my pockets are empty,

to write poems with the same hands

that once shook

from trying to survive.

Tonight,

I lay down my phone,

my worries,

my bitten thoughts,

and whisper to myself:

I am still here.

I choose to stay.

And that choice alone

is a light

no one can delete. 🌙✨

🌙 The Courage to Keep Walking

This morning began quietly — the kind of quiet that sits softly in the bones. I stepped out with a simple reminder from home: wear a mask, many people are sick. So I carried that small care with me onto the buses, watching the day slowly unfold through moving windows.

Along the way, the world felt a little sharp. People bumped into me, laughed near me, kept their distance. Some moments were just clumsy accidents, others were strange and confusing. I reminded myself that not every sound belongs to me, not every glance means something. Still, my heart felt tender with each little bruise.

I went for a haircut today and told the hairdresser honestly that my emotions weren’t doing well. She didn’t judge. She simply said, “Don’t care too much about others.” Her voice was calm, almost like she was brushing away the heaviness sitting on my shoulders. Maybe I needed that reminder more than I realised.

Later, memories of my Primary 4 teacher surfaced. She was strict, but kind in all the right ways. She encouraged me and gave me stickers when I tried my best. She passed away long ago, yet today, she felt close — like a quiet guide reminding me to stay steady.

The day carried on with a mix of errands and moments: visiting family, buying lunch and dinner, running into strangers who bumped past me or laughed at the wrong times. It wasn’t a smooth day, but it was real, and I kept moving through it.

In the middle of everything, I made a brave decision.

I submitted one of my books to a professional award.

The payment failed three times before it finally went through — each attempt stressing me out more than the last. But eventually, it succeeded. And in that small win, I heard a gentle whisper: “Your work matters.” Today, I believed it.

Life’s realities also returned — pending bills, a tooth appointment coming, and mum reminding me to save money. Somewhere between it all, the monk’s words echoed softly in my mind:

“不要执着 — don’t cling too tightly.

Everywhere is good.”

Maybe that’s the heart of today.

Not that everything was easy,

not that everyone was kind,

not that I felt strong every moment…

But that I kept walking anyway.

I kept breathing.

I kept choosing softness.

I kept choosing myself.

Tonight, I am ending with this truth:

Even when the world feels noisy,

I still have the courage to keep walking.

And that is enough.

🌙✨